“Where do you see yourself in five years?”
I’m self-aware enough to know my negative thought processes could use some work. It’s grueling work. Especially when funny is funny. Negative or not.
“Where do you see yourself in five years?” is the kind of question that short-circuits my positivity receptors immediately. A mother of all clichés nonsense questions to put you off-balance just enough.
“I don’t know. Definitely not here talking to you.”
One thing I have learned is that you never know what’s coming for you.
Anything can happen.
And anything will happen.
At times, life truly is a random recipe of determination, coincidence, and timing. Who can know what five years will bring? A year ago, I had no sense that I would soon become unmarried and that my view of the future would be clouded with uncertainty, isolation, and searing despair.
I’ve learned the only thing we have control over is our decision-making in the here and now, and that assumption and expectation are toxic to relationships. Easy words to understand. Difficult words to live by.
You never know.
…
One minute you might be drinking beer in a parking lot in Great Falls, Montana. And the next minute you’re wondering how Rick Springfield keeps his t-shirts so soft right before you blackout from shock.
Anything can happen.
…
When I was 17 years old, I washed windows inside my high school with vinegar and newspaper to earn my way to Seattle with the Art Club. Traveling thousands of miles by bus and sleeping in barren gymnasiums with other weird art kids made me feel less lonely. There I met a person who would become one of the most important people in my life—a best friend that would help carry and counsel me through all of my deepest bullshit.
You never know.
…
As part of my post-marriage apocalypse recovery plan, my friend pushed me to start writing again. So, I did. I like arranging words in some certain order to build a storied river of expression.
She also took me to see a psychic medium, where I was publicly shamed into acknowledging the lack of cleanliness of my own personal pool. On our adventure, we shared a haunted elevator with an airline pilot, ate a greasy haystack at a regulars-only breakfast joint, and searched for hidden treasure along the roadside.
…
If my friend told me to jump off a cliff for no good reason, I would. And, I have. Into a river. Right after being involved in a hostage situation.
Those clean, reckless days are mostly behind us. Though no longer on a bus, we are still weird art kids traveling together through life. She knows me better than most. She has guarded my best interests and kept my secrets safe for a long, long time. And that’s what being a best friend is.
This I know.
